Lived, Loved, and Almost Lost
by Vampirelover4
Summary: Two days after Edward leaves Bella gets a surprised visit from Jane and Victoria.Jane changes Bella and invites the Cullens to Italy.Bella screams and hides but doesn't come out her room.What happens when Edward thinks Bella is dead after two years?
1. Burning

This is an Edward and Bella story. It takes place two days after Edward leaves in New Moon. Victoria and Jane pay a little surprise visit to Bella when she gets in the car. Victoria wants to kill Bella but Jane changes Bella and takes her to the Voulturi. Alice has a vision of Bella's future disappearing but doesn't tell Edward but she slips when she is making a plan to go to Italy to save Bella. What happens when Edward goes to Italy to kill himself?Will they meet again or will they never see each other again?

**Preface**  
This burning hurt like never before. I felt this pain when James bit me but mixed in with the fact that Ed... he left me it makes it even worse. Only god knows how long this pain will last. Forever probably because Edward told me the worst thing I could ever hear. He didn't love me and I'll never see him again. I lived, I loved, and now I know that they only mean one thing apart. Lost. You're lost in your life with out your love. But I guess my mom was right. If you let love take over your life when the one you love is gone your lost. She never gave me bad advise. She was always right. Now that I'm turning into a vampire there is only one thing to do. Provoke the Voulturi and die. That is it. Life suck when you let love take over you and you always lose in the end.

**Chapter 1  
Burning  
Bpov**

It's been two days since Ed... he left me. It hurts so badly to think his name that I break down at the mention of it. I have a routine now and I'm going to stick to it.  
_**Routine**__  
__~before school~  
*Wake up  
*Take shower  
*Get dressed  
*Eat breakfast  
*Go to school  
~after school~  
*Do homework  
*Cook dinner  
*Eat dinner  
*Change into pajamas  
*Get in bed  
*Go to sleep__  
__**End of routine**_  
Boring isn't it?Well, that's how my life is. No friends come over and at lunch I sit alone and don't even eat. My dad runs up to my room when I scream at night and after two days he is getting annoyed. He keeps saying Edward is just a boy and that I would get over him soon but he is only saying that because of how Renee and him divorced. I'm sure he moped around the house too. He doesn't know how much I love Edward. And he will never know. I miss Alice's disapproving look when I wear jeans and a t-shirt. I miss Jasper even though we barely communicate. I miss Emmett's immature attitude that cause me to laugh all the time. I miss Esme's motherly attitude that kept me in place and how she was there for me when I needed her. I miss Carlisle's help when I'm so clumsy. I can't believe this but I miss Rosalie's glare when ever she looks at me. And out of all of them I miss him the most. I miss when he was so overprotective and how his cold lips pressed against mine. I miss his strong arms around my waist and how he comforted me when I was in horrible moods. While I was thinking this I was eating my breakfast and now I'm walking to my car. When I opened the door all I saw was Victoria with another vampire before Victoria lunged for my throat and everything went black. After a few moments every part of my body was on fire.

**Epov**  
I can't believe she believed me when I told her I didn't love her. She looked torn apart and heart-broken like I just stabbed her. It took all my strength not to hug her and tell her it was a lie. It's been two days since I left. We are still living in Forks and when Bella is asleep I always watch her but it pains me to much to hear her scream at night. I was walking through the woods when I heard a scream. I ran at full speed to see Victoria's teeth sunk in a girl's neck and Jane telling her to stop. Jane attacked Victoria and then I saw who it was. It was my Bella. Man, I have to stop thinking she is mine. But it's only been two days and now she is probably dead. _Wrong! _I still hear her heart beating. No this can't happen. A voice distracted my thoughts.  
"Edward, how lovely to see you."I realized my eyes were closed and I opened them."I hope you don't mind me asking but can you help me?Aro sent me to get you guys but on my way I met Victoria and she said she knows a girl who knows about us and she wanted her dead so she lead me here. But now Victoria is dead because when I tried to cause this girl pain it didn't happen so I thought Aro would like her as a new addition to our coven. So if you don't mind but I will need your help and Aro would like to see you and your coven."Jane said. She has the power of making people have pain inside.  
"Sure Jane."I said and we walked to my house.  
"Tell your family and hurry up. We don't have that long. I wanna get her out of here before she wakes up. The venom is already at her lungs. For some odd reason she is transforming fast."She replied. Oh no this can't be happening!Bella can't be a monster like me. I told my family and of course with a psycho..I mean psychic..they were ready.

1 day later...

We arrived in Italy and Bella's heart was slowly beating.  
"Hmm!Looks like she might not survive so we might just have to kill her."Jane said to herself. Good because at least she won't be what I am. Jane ran with Bella inside when we arrived to the Voulturi's castle."Aro look what I found!"She screamed. He came down like two seconds later. He was happy when we walked into where they kill people who did something against the law. Bella's heart stopped beating all of a sudden. Jane ran into another room. After 5 long minutes of silence we heard a blood curling scream then silence. Oh no!Bella's dead. I'll try to see how long I'll last.

2 weeks later...

With no sign of Bella everything in my world was boring. We are going home today and I hope this is all a dream. I hope that vampires could sleep and this is just a dream. We got on the plane and I just looked out the window remembering the times me and Bella were together. But my images went the wrong way and all I could hear was the last sound Bella made. That scream still haunts me.

**Bpov**  
When I opened my eyes I saw that same vampire. I let out a blood curling scream. She covered my mouth with her hand. I heard movement in another room. When they left I got up and ran to the 5th floor and into an empty room.

2 weeks later...

The visitors left and I went downstairs. Apparently one person stayed behind.  
"Bella?"I heard them say."Oh Bella you don't know how much I missed you!"She ran up to give me a hug. I turned to see...


	2. I Want To Die Too

Chapter 2

I Wanna Die

Bpov

I saw Alice. She was her normal hyper pixie self. That is one thing I missed about her.

"Bella look at what you're wearing. Jeans and a t-shirt is how you dressing now. We need to change that." She said giving me that disapproving look that I missed. I just hugged her.

"Alice I missed you too. But why didn't you leave with the rest of whoever was here? Speaking of that who was here? And please let me enjoy the time I have before I start missing him. He never loved me and I knew it was all a lie." I replied when we parted from the hug.

"Bella, I stayed behind because I didn't have a vision of you and I thought Jane killed you. I was here with the rest of the Cullens. I was here with Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward. And you're wrong. Edward does love you. Esme called me and told me to hurry because when they got home Edward broke down in sobs. Plus I had a vision of him having to be locked and held hostage until I got back." Alice said. At the mention of Edward being here my knees let me fall to the ground and I did. My head was in my hands. Why have I been so stupid? I smelt his scent. So why was I too dumb to go to him? I hate myself so much. I should of never screamed like I did. He must of heard and when Jane covered my mouth everything was silent. Edward must of thought Jane killed me and when I didn't come out of the room for two weeks he thought that he knew for sure I was dead. I am so stupid. I ran up to my room and Alice followed me. She rubbed my arm while I cried. The next day I stopped crying to see Alice packed.

"You have to go back today?" I asked her as she walked to sit on my bed. I guess when I was crying Alice took the chance to decorate my room.

"Yeah I wish I don't but Edward is going to find a way out of their sight sooner or later. While you were crying I asked Aro if you could have this room and he said yes so I decorated it while you were trying to calm down." She replied.

"I'm so sorry Alice. You wanted to spend time with me and all I did was cry." I apologized.

"It's okay Bella. I should of never mentioned Ed- him. I'll come back as soon as I can." She said then walked out of my room.

2 years later...

Aro started training me after Alice left two years ago and then last year then he sent me on missions with Caius and Marcus. We were arriving back in Italy on some holiday that everyone wore red for. I forget but I don't care.

"Bella, that was fun wasn't it?" Marcus asked me when we returned wearing red like everyone else.

"It was like every other mission. Seek, kill, return or seek, bring back, reward." I replied bored.

"Oh come on Bella. We don't want to have a Miss Caius now?" He whined. Marcus and Felix reminded me of another vampire. I forget his name. I turned left instead of right at a corner. Marcus looked at me with a questioning look. I mouthed 'walking' and he just turned walked to his car.

Epov

It's been 2 years since Bella died and I'm locked in my room because they are afraid that I will go back to Italy to die, too. I'm not allowed to go anywhere alone. Someone has to guard my bedroom door and someone has to go hunting with me. Alice came back two days after we came back and she was sad. She wouldn't tell anybody why. All she thought about was when we lived in Forks, Washington. She missed shopping. She missed a lot of things. But the one she missed most of all was Bella. She wouldn't think of anything about when she stayed an extra two days in Italy. All she said was that it was good while it lasted.


	3. Love

Chapter 3

Love

Epov

I should of never put them through this. It hurt all of them and even Rosalie was sad that Bella was gone. Alice was the only one who was jumpy at some points. She always stayed away from me when she had visions. Sometimes when she had visions she would come into my room and would say, "Go ahead. Go to the Voulturi. Aro has a little surprise for you." So after the 50th time I did as she said. I went to the Voulturi and now here I am. Waiting for noon to come when the sun is at his highest. I asked Aro to kill me but he told me instead to join him. He said that his whole guard wasn't here right now for three of them was out and should be returning soon. I declined the offer and he told me that Bella was in his guard and that I should join. But that is all nonsense because Bella is dead. I heard her scream and she didn't appear for two weeks straight. It's not like they could bring back the dead. So back to where I was. It's 11:58 and I had two minutes before death comes. I heard Marcus and another vampire talking.

"It was like every other mission. Seek, kill, return or seek, bring back, reward." She replied bored.

"Oh come on Bella. We don't want to have a Miss Caius now?" He whined.

Bella? There must be another Bella because mine is dead. I learned that two years ago. It was 11:59 and I saw another vampire running through the city being unseen. 12:00 finally came and first thing I saw was me taking off my shirt and about to step out. Then next thing I knew I'm being pushed back against the wall.

"Are you stupid? Do you want Italy to know that vampires are real? Do you want to die?" She questioned. She grabbed my wrist and pulled me into where Aro, Marcus, and Caius were.

"Ha Bella! We beat you back." Marcus exclaimed.

"Duh! Because you got a car. And Marcus with your crazy driving you probably beat me in a race." She, I mean Bella, replied. Marcus growled and sat back in his chair. Luckily, on the way there she handed me my shirt. She didn't even look at me.

"Now Edward, wasn't I telling the truth? You guys are even holding hands. Aw I just love stories with happy endings. They are so rare now these days." Aro said walking to Bella.

"Aro I'm holding his wrist not his hand. And you have to be lying. Alice didn't say anything about Ed- him coming to Italy in her letters or her phone calls." Bella replied. She almost crumpled down at the sound of my name. Oh so that's what she called me. Him. It must of hurt her to think of me.

"Bella stop calling Edward him. He is right behind you so you don't have to be in pain anymore. Plus you know that if you wanted to forget Edward Alec always wanted you. Now Bella turn around and look at the person you are grabbing." Aro said with caution holding his hand up showing that he meant no harm to be done.

"Aro if you are lying you know what would happen. You know not to lie about things like that. Remember that human who knew about my past and joked around saying Alice was behind me and when I turned around and nobody was there I put him on fire. What was his name? Laurent was his name. Irina wanted to kill me but she got over it knowing that he only used her." Bella warned.

"Felix!" Aro called. Felix came running down the steps. "You know what to do when Bella gets angry."

"Yes I do Aro!" Felix said excited.

"Felix, what are you doing?" Bella said as she let go of my wrist and backed up. "Oh no you don't." She said as Felix swooped her up over his shoulder. "Put me down now, Felix."

"Nope!" He exclaimed and ran around the room like a five-year old girl who just got a barbie doll.

"I'll bite you!" Bella exclaimed. He put her down and ran away.

"I'm sorry Aro but if you ever got bitten by her you'll be in pain for weeks. I wasn't able to go on missions because of that little evil thing we call Bella. I'm not even sure she was human when Jane bit her. I know for sure that she is the Devil's little daughter. How Edward thought she was sweet is a miracle. No offense Edward." Felix stated. I chuckled a little.

"I guess you are right, Aro." I said. Bella turned around to look at me.

"And you-" She stopped when her eyes landed on mine. "Edward?" I realized that her eyes were golden like mine.

"Bella?" I hugged her and her arms wound around my waist.

"Bella would you mind showing our guest to a room?" Aro said. She looked up at me and let go of my waist.

"Follow me Edward." She said. She walked until we were out of hearing distance. "I'll race you to my room!" She said then ran off. I followed her to her room. She beat me there. "Did I forget to mention that the loser has to give the winner whatever the winner wants?" She questioned. I nodded my head. She smiled and thought for two seconds. "I want two things. But I only want the second thing if the first one pleases me. Why did you want to give away our secret?" She asked me. Time to tell her the truth.

Bpov

I was happy Edward is here but why he wanted to die is making me curios.

"Well, when I told I didn't love you I was trying to keep you safe. We never did move. I watched you at night but I didn't know that really I wasn't protecting you. Victoria bit you and she tried to kill you. Jane killed her and then we came to the Voulturi. Alice probably explained from there on." It pleased me enough.

"Alice said that you still love me. Is it true?" I asked.

"Yes it's true Bella. I never did stop loving you. It was all a lie and I thought it would take more for me to get you to believe me." He explained. Now that really pleased me. And I could tell by his eyes that he wasn't lying.

"Well, if it isn't to much to ask. Show me how much you love me." I said. As soon as I finished his lips were against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pushed me so I was laying on my bed. Without thinking my hands went to his shirt and undid it. He took it off and went to mine when we heard noise. We both broke off the kiss and looked at the side of us, There in front of us Marcus, Felix, and Emmett taking pictures. Marcus, Felix, and Emmett ran out of the room when they saw me. Edward kissed me and we began where we left off. Edward took off my shirt.

"I love you!" He mumbled against my lips.

"I love you too!" I replied. Edward pulled me under the covers of my bed. I pulled away from him.

"Bella what's wrong?" He asked. I looked at him in the eyes.

"You'll hate me after I say this." I said pushing myself off of him and sat on the end of the bed.

"Bella I could never hate you. I'm in love with you way to much. Hating you is like hating my life. And right now I can't even be more happy." He said. He put his shirt back on and pulled me on to his lap.

"Edward, I don't want to do what we were about to do until I'm engaged or married." I said.

"I'll have to get Alice to do that sooner. Love I'm just going to step out your door real quick. I have to make a phone call." He said and got up. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back on the bed.

"Is it too important that you can't make the phone call later? I never said that I didn't want to keep kissing you. All I said was that I don't want to do the thing that hormones make humans want to do. I love you with all my life but I just don't feel ready to give myself away. If I had to show you how much I love you this room would be torn apart by now." I finished with a little smile and he pulled me back on his lap. We were just about to kiss when I heard my name being called. I got off Edward's lap and ran to the room where I heard my name being called. In that room I saw Rosalie and Alice with clothes. I ran out from there but Rosalie grabbed my wrist.

"Bella, before you leave can I say something?" She asked. I nodded. "I want to say sorry for my rude behavior when you were human. I guess when I saw how sad everyone was when Edward told us that we should leave that I realized you were like family to us. You make Edward happy and you light up everybody's day and that really matters. So will you accept my apology?" I nodded my head. "Thank you!"


End file.
